Tuesday, December 9, 2008

What we "need" and what we "desire"

NEED Pronunciation: \ˈnēd\ Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English ned, from Old English nīed, nēd; akin to Old High German nōt distress, need, Old Prussian nautin need
Date: before 12th century
1: necessary duty : obligation
2 a: a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful
b: a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism
3: a condition requiring supply or relief
4: lack of the means of subsistence : poverty

DESIRE Pronunciation: \di-ˈzī(-ə)r, dē-\ Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): de·sired; de·sir·ing Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French desirer, from Latin desiderare, from de- + sider-, sidus heavenly body
Date: 13th century
1: to long or hope for : exhibit or feel desire for
2 a: to express a wish for : request
barchaic : to express a wish to : ask
3 obsolete : invite
4 archaic : to feel the loss of intransitive verb: to have or feel desire

What we need and what we desire are 2 separate things. However, very much the same.

Example 1:
I need a new car and I desire it to be reliable. You would think that it being new it would be reliable, wouldn't you? But because it's new doesn't mean it's off the showroom floor it might mean it's used but new to you. The desire is the same, regardless of where it comes from you want it to be reliable. The truth is, this example makes the word need and desire a very similar and relative to be joined together.

Example 2:
I need to have satellite/cable television to stay abreast/alive in my life. I desire to have satellite/cable television to stay abreast/alive in my life. Which is more a true statement? Do you actually need to have satellite/cable television to stay abreast / alive in your life or is that need a desire and there are underlying problems in your environment that makes you say it's a NEED vs a DESIRE? Most everyone has access to the Internet. Therefore, if your job is to watch the stock market to make sure your well being is going to exist, you still will have access to the information by Internet, omitting the need for satellite cable. I would consider this statement more of a Desire vs a Need. It's not necessary in life.

Example 3:
I need to be hugged! I desire to be hugged! If you said I need to be hugged by ... my husband, I would consider that true. If you said you desire to be hug by ... that guy over there, that could be true. The question is are hugs a need or a desire? It has been reported by FoxNews that A Hug A Day Could Save Your Life, Study finds that a hug from a loved one lowers blood pressure, triggers the release of healthy hormones, suppresses bad ones and relieves stress. Help a loved one's health by giving them a hug. As adults, that daily dose of oxytocin-laced hugging protects us from heart disease.
Do we desire hugs? Yes! But that's not really the question, it's obvious, isn't it? We need them even more! For our health, for our well being as humans.


I was faced yesterday with knowledge I'd preferred not to hear about a loved one. I realized my concerns for her health was not going to change, there are deeper problem then her current bad blood test results. That no matter how much I explain to her how important she is and how much she is needed in my life, it was not going to help her or make her want to resolve this potential medical problem. I couldn't understand WHY she did not care about her health and WHY she didn't want to change it! WHY? WHY? WHY?

Then yesterday the true problem came out and the reason why she's doesn't care. I found that until the change in her marriage took place, her health is not a concern, her existence isn't either. I write this thinking that I'm telling you a made up story. That this person is not special to me and does not exist in mylife. She should be a figment, a character to tell in a story book, not friend, not a best friend! And there is nothing I can do to help. I've tossed and turned thinking about it. I can't fix it, I don't even think I can talk about it aloud. Help!

People desire to be loved, but they need it to survive. I think sometimes when you're married you think that person will always be there for you regardless. And in theory that right, that why people get married, to have that fulfillment of being loved, needed and desired. Sometime though, I think people forget (especially the longer your married) that even thought that's how it's suppose to be, it doesn't give you the right to forget about them as a person. Someone with needs and desires. Someone that probably think that you're their life and without your love they are nothing. And what really more does a person want than their true loves love in return?

Please Love, please hug, and listen to your partner. They need you more than you think!

Lots of hugs


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